i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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