He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
