This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
