im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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