Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
