also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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