booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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