The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
