If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He kissed a someone with a penis
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
