I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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