so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
