Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
