Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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