She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
