Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
