See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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