Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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