I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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