You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
