i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
