it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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