I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Randomize
