It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
