I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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