haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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