well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
