Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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