So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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