i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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