Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this just has baby written all over it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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