you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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