Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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