google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
