this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
