Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
