And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
