I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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