Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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