in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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