They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
