Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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