Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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