Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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