Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
