yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
