So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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