I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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