That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
