your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I am one with the molecules
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
