I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
